You know, I’ve lost count of the number of
people who haven’t asked me for my secrets of success in business. Well,
I follow my own mantra which I like to call ‘The 10 M’s of
Mega-success!’
Always
say “It’s my fault.” Don’t try and blame others for things that go
wrong. And let’s face it even if the issue is nothing to do with you,
there is probably something that you’ve done badly that has led to this.
So accept blame for everything! You’ll be popular with colleagues and
they are sure to involve you in every project.
It
is only through abject misery that we appreciate the good times. So
make sure you are as miserable as you can be for as long as possible.
Your successes (if they ever arrive) will be so much sweeter.
Question
everything you are doing. Constantly. And if anyone asks you to do
anything, especially your boss at work, just say to your self, “Must I?”
In fact, it’s even more effective to say it out loud. In this way you
will develop a deep understanding of not only what is important to you,
but also what is important to everyone else.
A
natural follow-on from “Must I?” Question every decision your
management make, to their faces as well as behind their backs. They’ll
quickly identify you as someone worth watching!
Use
people around you to get what you want. Lie, cheat, subvert, anything
to position yuourself ahead of your rivals. The more you are able to
force people to do things for you without their realising, the
happier and more popular you will be. And the greater their surprise
when, having achieved your goals, you then reveal exactly what you did
to get there. This will earn you respect and sometime legendary status
in the office. You’ll be the talking point at every desk.
Don’t
hold it in where it will just fester. If there’s something that you
don’t like, say it. Every time. Expressing yourself like this is
cathartic and gives your colleagues a real sense of the true you. What
better way to make friends?
Don’t
believe the press, the guy was a genius. Put succinctly (and despite
what I said about blame above) if a colleague says or does anything that
might even remotely be considered to be not in your best interests,
crush them. Mercilessly. Totally. Respect through fear is a gift.
Get
involved in each and every dispute around you. Make sure you strongly
and publically take a side so that the issue can be quickly resolved.
It’s
not all hustle and bustle in business. Take time out to relax and shut
out the cares of the day. The best time to do this is in a management or
board meeting, during an appraisal, or even in front of an important
customer. Plugging in your headphones will help to keep out unwelcome
distractions. After a good 15 minutes downtime you’ll feel refreshed and
ready for action.
Change
your job as often as you can. It’s usually advisable to let your latest
employer and all your colleagues know exactly what you think of them
when you leave so as to avoid those annoying ‘buy back’ conversations,
awkward leaving do’s and attempted superficial friendships.
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